YEAR 9.
2016 was Year 9. The last year in the universe's nine year cycle {2+0+1+6=9} + it also happened to be year 9 in my personal cycle. 36. 3+6=9.
Year 9 is the year to break any cycles that have been continually cycling through your life. Many people are completely unaware of the patterns that keep taking shape in their life, therefore not breaking the cycle + unknowingly seeing it take shape for the next 9 years. {yours truly was definitely one of those unaware people}. Same men, same patterns, constant cycles of the same shit for as long as I can remember.
At the beginning of this year my life coach let me in on the power of Year 9, which in turn lead me into some serious research. I decided to make it a year I would end some cycles. Mostly the guys, the guy I have gone for all my life. The one who is so set in his ways that nobody is ever going to change him, but of course I could. I could 'save' him in a sense. Wake him up to the beauty of life.
Bullshit.
I've learned that lesson a few times the hard way. Nobody is ever going to change for someone else. Ever. They will change when they want to change. That's it.
And, nobody is ever going to 'save' me. Not going to happen.
So, I went about my year....+ completely forgot about year 9. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I was chatting with one of my dearest friends + I actually said 'I haven't broken any cycles this year' that it dawned on me. I broke the biggest, most destructive pattern of my whole life.
I've been sober for the whole year.
{which is huge. I was a party girl that couldn't handle booze. Black out drunk almost every time. A constant cycle of 10 steps ahead, get drunk, 20 back. Anyone relate?}
Being sober for the year has broken numerous other cycles. The guys. This whole year has been all about clarity + basically sitting with my shit. No masking, no covering it up with the booze, facing it all straight on. Which in turn made me realize why I went for the guys I did. It was in search of shallow love which was all I thought I was worthy of. The first step to healing is awareness. If we are not aware of the problem, it's damn hard to heal it. This awareness of deep feelings of unworthiness has snowballed into a year of huge personal development - the trainings, the books. All towards revealing the deepest limiting beliefs I have for myself. {and we all have them, it's our human conditioning} It's been a year of huge growth, humility + gratitude. Gratitude for everything, the good, + especially the bad. And most importantly it's been a huge year of breaking cycles.
My year 9.
What cycles have you ended this year? What are some areas you'd like to wipe the slate clean + start fresh? I challenge you to dive into your patterns, your cycles. Get curious. Nothings a coincidence + every single part of it is part of a bigger picture.
The beauty? You + only you have the power to change it.
First step. Awareness.
Maybe 2017 is the year you change it.
